On "Left 4 Dead 2"

This is more of a rant then anything else and it begins with something I do quiet often: Gaming. I recently got "Left 4 Dead 2" and although I'm having what I think is just general fun with the game, it's "fun" part wore off about a good day into it.

Alrighty, where to begin. Well, first off, kudos for making a good line of game Valve. Half Life 2 + Episodes, Team Fortress 2, Portals, all great games. Then you thought you'd hit the nerd crowd right where they enjoy it. Their fascination in the zombie apocalypses, though not one of my first choices in end of the world scenarios (personal favorite being nuclear wasteland, thus why I love "Fallout 3"), it had the effect that I liked. Blood and gore in good amounts, it didn't feel like I was playing "Gears of War 2" from a first person point of view.

Now, I must admit, I did rather enjoy the slight programming errors that were totally unintended. The gatling gun gravity glitch was one of my favorites as was the jesus room on top of the plain in Dead Air. When you announced a "Crash Course" DLC, I naturally wanted to get it, but being the money grubbing people that you were, you charged XBL users. To that I say, I can live without, thanks.

Then almost a year later, "Left 4 Dead 2" comes out. Naturally I had it preordered cuz I enjoyed the first one. Okay, so hind sight is 20/20 and I am beginning to think it was a bad idea. The melee timer is totally unnecessary in offline campaign and did you have to bump up the damage to the hitpoints from common infected? You already added realism to the game.

Okay now, the melee weapons was a nice touch. The frying pan does make that satisfying sound but the machete and katana was naturally my favorite part... I really shouldn't say favorite. It was the only thing in the game I actually liked. Everything else was moderate to down right annoying. The spitters are too overpowering at any range. Their spit seems to defy the laws of gravity and hit the total opposite side of the map. Not even boomer bile or a smokers tongue can reach that far. The chargers are also very annoying. Hunters pounces and knock back the people around the pounced person, but a charger carries them away and starts hitting them on the ground. Jockey's are just... well, there's no other way to put it. They are fucking homo. Literally fucking homo. They hop on your head crotch rubbing against the back of your chrome, and while rubbing it up and down your hairy back side, they seem to be playing with you making you walk. Common sense dictates that you drop that mother fucker like a rock but naturally, you gotta walk, not bash that son of a bitch against anything.

Then there are the new equipment for survival. Bile Bombs;I prefer what Nick says, "Grabbing puke". Adrenaline shots; for those speed junkies that managed not to get infected but still want to do crack on the run. Defibrillator; seriously, its like "Hey, we don't need a guide to this. Let's just shock the fucker back to life". Oh, my personal favorite is the new weapons. Of course the first 6 were in there (uzzi, pump shotgun, fully automatic shotgun, M-16 assult rifle, hunting rifle, and the M9 pistol), with a set of 6 more weapons. Oh goodie...

So let me wrap all this up before you get bored. "Left 4 Dead 2": Twice the weapons, twice the infected, new campaign, new gameplay mode, new characters, Same shit, different title. Just give me Halo 3. I'd rather play that 50 more times then L4D2. Sure, I know what's coming in Halo 3, but you know what? At least they know how to program a game.